ENOUGH?

 By Carrie Moyer

ENOUGH?

 

I've been married more than long enough to conclude that my husband is incapable of meeting my most intimate needs and expectations. And, on the flip side, I humbly confess that I am entirely incapable of meeting his. That's the plain, simple truth.

HUSBAND, LOVE . . .

God commands a husband to love his wife (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33). Not to learn her love language, but simply, to love her. That is, he is to be patient and kind, not envious or boasting, not arrogant or rude. He should not insist on having his own way; should avoid being irritable or resentful. He should not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoice with the truth. He should bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things.  And he should behave this way toward his wife always in all circumstances, even when she fails to conform to God's expectations for a wife. (1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬8)

WIFE, SUBMIT . . .

God commands a wife to submit to her husband in everything and respect him (Ephesians 5:22, 24, 33). This means that I must accept my husband's authority and yield to his will, not just when I agree with him, or when I feel he is fulfilling his role and meeting my needs, but always in every matter. I am to regard his feelings and admire him deeply for his abilities, qualities, and achievements regardless of how great or trite I perceive them to be. This is a command without conditions.
 

ADMIRE HIM

Regarding love, these commands necessitate that I, a wife, learn to recognize, accept, and respond positively to my husband's expressions of love, or lack thereof. Even if it is not what I desire or prefer, the Scripture does not give a wife liberty to insist that her husband conform to her ideals, nor to leave him if he fails in his responsibilities. Rather, I am told to submit to his standard, not merely by accepting it, but by admiring him for whatever ability, quality, and achievement he displays in the way that he chooses to display love to me.
 

IS HE ENOUGH?

So saying, should I, as a believer, analyze my marriage by asking, "Is my husband enough for me? Does he love me as well as he ought?" In truth, he is not, never will be; does not, never will. He will never be wholly worthy of my submission and respect. He is a human who falls far short of God's glory, and therefore will fall short of my hopes and expectations.

AM I ENOUGH?

And, were I to ask the same of myself, "Am I enough for my husband? Am I everything I ought and need to be?" If I am completely honest in answering, my response is, "No! I will never be wholly worthy of his love."

IS CHRIST ENOUGH?

My questions instead, should be, "Is Christ enough for me? Is He worthy of my submission, respect, devotion, and love?"
He, the God of the whole earth (Isaiah 54:5), is the One who made me, the One to whom I belong! He chose me, and loved me, and died to save me before I was even born. Before I knew Him, before I was capable of reciprocating love, He promised to lead, protect, defend, provide, comfort, sustain, and love me unconditionally, abundantly, and forever!

ALL I NEED

He promises that those who trust in Him will never be disappointed! (Isaiah 49:23 NIV; Romans 10:11) Trusting Him to understand my expectations for love and to fulfill them appropriately and sufficiently satisfies more than any human ever could! Christ is the image of the invisible God, the fullness of deity, the perfect Bridegroom, my husband! (Isaiah 54:5) He knows and is capable of satisfying my deepest and most intimate needs before I ever express them! (Psalm 139:4) He is the One whom my soul loves and longs for. When I have found Him, I have all that I shall ever need!

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and HE (not your husband or anybody else) will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

PRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND!

Father, please teach my husband to love as You love with patience and kindness, not being envious or boastful, nor arrogant, nor rude. Help him not to insist on having his own way and to avoid being irritable or resentful. I pray that he will not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoice with the truth. Give him the strength to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things.

You want him to practically demonstrate to his family the manner in which Christ loves the church, so please help him to demonstrate abundant selfless and steadfast love toward his wife always in all circumstances, even when she fails to conform to God's expectations for a wife.

(Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33; 1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬8)

PRAY FOR YOURSELF!

Father, please help me to submit to my husband in everything and respect him. Help me to accept his authority and yield to his will, not just when I agree with him, or when I feel he is fulfilling his role and meeting my needs, but always in every matter.

Enable me to regard his feelings and admire him deeply for his abilities, qualities, and achievements regardless of how great or trite I perceive them to be.

Please help me to recognize, accept, and respond positively to my husband's expressions of love, or lack thereof. Even if his love is not what I desire or displayed in the way I prefer, help me to respond appropriately and respectfully and to remain diligent in keeping myself pure and wholly devoted to him.

(Ephesians 5:22, 24, 33; 1 Peter 3:1‭-‬2)

Carrie Moyer is a housewife and homeschooling mother who praises her Father for the large quiver of children He has blessed her with. She lives in the upstate of South Carolina with her husband, four girls and two boys and new baby due in 2021.